Q. What do you get if you cross mistletoe and a duck?
A. A Christmas Quacker.
Q. What do call Santa when he stops moving?
A. Santa Pause!
Q. Where does a snowman keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.
Q. Why do mummies like Christmas so much?
A. Because of all the wrapping!
Q. What goes in a chimney red and comes out of it black?
A. Santa Claus.
Q. What's white and red and goes up and down and up and down?
A. Santa Claus in an elevator!
Q. How do you scare a snowman?
A. You get a hairdryer!
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!
Q. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A. Nothing, it was on the house!
Q. What is invisible and smells like milk and cookies?
A. Santa's burps!
Q. What do snowmen do on Christmas?
A. Play with the snow angels.
Q. Who says "Oh, Oh, Oh!"?
A. Santa walking backwards!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. How did the sheep say Merry Christmas?
A. "Fleece Avoided."
Q. What do you call a Santa that sleeps all the time?
A. Santa snores!
Q. Why was Santa's helper depressed?
A. He had low ELF-esteem.
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
A. Silent Night.
Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle!
Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A. Frosted Flakes.
Q. Why does Santa have three gardens ?
A. So he can go HOE HOE HOE.
Q. Why did Sponge Bob have a great Christmas?
A. Because he kissed a Krabby Patty.
Q. What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
A. Comet.
Q. What do you get when you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Kringle.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
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