Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Light bulb jokes

How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb? None, Pampers don't come in a size that small.
How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes them three visits.
How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes eight million years.
How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget.
 How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?  Four, one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof.
How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes three bulbs.
How many Florida residents does it take to change a light bulb? Nobody knows, they're still counting.
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they merely change the standard to darkness and then they upgrade the customers.
How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.

How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they're convinced that the power will come back on soon.

How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb? WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but he has to wait until the light is better.
How many reference librarians does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you.
How many safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it, and three to hold the ladder.
How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet.
How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.

No comments: